Omar Bennett
Elopement is a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's residence with the intention of marrying without parental consent. While elopement was once considered taboo, it is now embraced by many as a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way of getting married. The term elopement is now colloquially used to refer to any marriage performed in haste, with a limited or non-existent public engagement period. Elopement is often chosen by couples who wish to avoid parental or religious objections, or who simply prefer an adventure to a traditional wedding.
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What You'll Learn
The intention to get married without parental approval
Elopement is a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's residence with the intention of marrying without parental approval. It is a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way of getting married, where the couple chooses an experience that feels right for them. Elopement is often chosen by couples who want to avoid parental or religious objections and can involve a small wedding with only the necessary witnesses and officiants, or a more private union.
In the past, elopement was considered a taboo, with couples choosing to elope facing violent reactions from family members. Today, elopement is more accepted, and many couples embrace it as a way to celebrate their union, especially if they do not want a traditional wedding. It is important to note that elopement does not necessarily mean secretly running away without telling anyone, and couples may choose to involve their families in the planning process.
One example of elopement is "tanan" in Filipino culture, where a woman leaves her home without her parents' permission to live with her partner. The couple often elopes at night, and the woman is awaited by her lover, who takes her to a location outside of her hometown. This often occurs due to an impending arranged marriage or in defiance of parental disapproval of a preferred suitor.
In Indonesia, elopement is considered "kawin lari," or "runaway marriage." This happens when the couple fails to obtain parental permission for the marriage, as Indonesia is a religiously strict country that requires parental consent for marriage. Similarly, in Malaysia, elopement is also known as "kahwin lari" or "marriage on the run", and often occurs when the families of the couple do not approve of the relationship or when the marriage involves a foreign man.
Elopement allows couples to be intentional about how they spend their wedding day and create a celebration that is meaningful to them. It gives them the freedom to choose an adventure that feels right, whether it is a mountaintop in Alaska, a national park, or their own backyard. While elopements may involve just the couple and necessary witnesses, some couples choose to invite their closest family and friends to join them.
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Avoiding parental or religious objections
Elopement is a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's residence with the intention of marrying without parental approval. In the past, elopement was considered a taboo, with couples choosing to elope viewed as running away in shame or out of dissatisfaction with themselves. It was also assumed that the families of the couple had disapproved of the relationship, leading to the couple's decision to flee.
Today, elopement is no longer considered a scandalous act. Couples who elope are not "cutting costs", but rather choosing experiences over things. They are intentionally selecting an adventure that feels right for them. Elopement allows couples to create a day that is meaningful to them, free from the pressure and obligations of a traditional wedding. It is a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way to get married, with the focus on celebrating the couple rather than the guests.
In some cases, couples still choose to elope to avoid parental or religious objections. For example, in England, a prerequisite of Christian marriage is the "reading of the banns", where the names of the couple intending to marry must be read aloud by the priest(s) of their parish(es) for any three Sundays in the three months prior to the wedding. This practice gives warning to the couple's parents, who may object on personal grounds. To circumvent this, some couples obtain a special licence from the Archbishop of Canterbury or flee to a place where the law does not apply.
In other cultures, elopement is also influenced by parental and religious factors. For instance, in Filipino culture, "tanan" is a practice where a woman leaves her home without her parents' permission to live with her partner, often due to an impending arranged marriage or parental disapproval of her chosen suitor. In Indonesia, elopement is called "kawin lari", which translates to "runaway marriage". It occurs when the couple fails to obtain parental permission for the marriage, which is necessary due to the country's religiously strict nature. Similarly, in Malaysia, elopement is termed "kahwin lari" or "marriage on a run" and often occurs when the families of the couple do not approve of the relationship or when the marriage involves a foreign man.
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Marriage without official recognition
Elopement refers to a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive manner, often without parental consent. While it historically carried negative connotations, it is now embraced as a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way for couples to wed. Elopements can vary in scale, from small weddings with just the couple, witnesses, and the officiant, to larger celebrations with family and friends.
In the context of marriage, the term "elopement" is colloquially used to describe any marriage performed hastily, with a limited or non-existent public engagement period. Couples may choose to elope to avoid parental or religious objections or to escape traditions associated with traditional weddings.
In some cultures, elopement is a well-established practice. For example, tanan in Filipino culture refers to a woman leaving her home without parental permission to live with her partner. Similarly, in Indonesia, "kawin lari" or "runaway marriage" occurs when a couple fails to obtain parental permission for their marriage.
Elopements can have legal implications, particularly in countries with specific marriage laws. For instance, in Indonesia, a couple cannot marry without parental consent, so elopements may result in marriages that are not officially recognised by the government. Similarly, in Malaysia, elopements ("kahwin lari") can occur when families do not approve of the relationship or when the marriage involves a foreign man. These marriages may not be registered according to Islamic family law, leading to issues with inheritance, religious rituals, divorce, and child registration.
While the definition of elopement has evolved, it still retains its core meaning of a sudden and secretive marriage, often without parental approval. Today, elopements are chosen by couples who wish to prioritise their experience, create a meaningful celebration, and focus on their relationship rather than traditional expectations.
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Leaving a safe area without authorization
Elopement is a term that has evolved over time. In the past, it was associated with marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive manner, often without parental consent. Today, elopement has taken on a different meaning and is no longer considered a scandalous or taboo act. Instead, it refers to a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way for couples to get married, focusing on their relationship and shared adventure.
However, in certain contexts, the term "elopement" or "attempted elopement" carries a specific definition and serious implications. Particularly in healthcare and educational settings, elopement refers to an individual leaving a designated safe area without authorization or the necessary supervision. This definition is especially relevant in facilities such as psychiatric institutions, dementia care units, and schools, where the safety of residents or students is a paramount concern.
In educational settings, elopement often refers to students running away from supervised areas. Teachers are instructed to handle these situations by allowing students to leave temporarily and recording the incident as elopement for assessment purposes. These controlled scenarios help identify reinforcing consequences and develop strategies to prevent or manage future occurrences.
The definition of an attempted elopement, therefore, varies depending on the context. While the term originally carried connotations of secretive marriage, it has evolved to encompass situations where individuals leave supervised or designated safe areas without authorization, particularly in healthcare and educational contexts.
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The decision to forego a formal wedding
Elopement is often associated with a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's residence together with one's partner, with the intention of getting married without parental approval. It is also sometimes associated with bride kidnapping, where the couple colludes to present their parents with a fait accompli.
However, the meaning of elopement has evolved and is now often used to refer to any small, inexpensive wedding, even with parental foreknowledge. In modern times, elopement is considered a non-traditional, intimate, and intentional way of getting married. It is a fun option that doesn't involve many people, unlike a traditional wedding, which requires inviting many guests. Elopement is about choosing an experience that feels right for the couple, allowing them to be intentional about how they spend their wedding day. It gives them the freedom to create a day that is meaningful to them, without the pressure and obligations of a traditional wedding.
For some couples, elopement is a way to avoid parental or religious objections to their union. In some cultures, elopement is still associated with secretly running away to get married without parental consent, such as in the Filipino tradition of "tanan" or the Indonesian practice of "kahwin lari."
While elopements can be small, intimate affairs with just the couple and the necessary witnesses, some couples choose to include their closest family and friends in their elopement ceremony. Elopements can take place in breathtaking locations, from mountaintops to national parks, and can be planned months in advance to ensure attention to details like permits, marriage laws, attire, and logistics.
Ultimately, the decision to forego a formal wedding and choose elopement is a personal one, allowing couples to celebrate their union in a way that feels authentic and meaningful to them.
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Frequently asked questions
An attempted elopement is when a resident leaves or tries to leave the premises or a safe area without authorization and/or the necessary supervision to do so.
Elopement traditionally refers to a marriage conducted in a sudden and secretive fashion, sometimes involving a hurried flight away from one's place of residence together with one's beloved with the intention of getting married without parental approval.
Nowadays, elopement is considered a non-traditional, intimate and intentional way of getting married. It is no longer considered a scandalous affair and does not always involve running away or secrecy.
There are many reasons why a couple might choose to elope. Some may wish to avoid parental or religious objections, escape the expectations and obligations of a traditional wedding, or opt for a more adventurous and unique experience.
