Eleanor Finch
Unreasonable behaviour is a complex and emotionally stressful ground for divorce. It is one of the most popular reasons for divorce, yet it is hard to define what constitutes unreasonable behaviour. In England and Wales, divorce law requires proof of an irretrievable breakdown in the marriage, which can be evidenced by unreasonable behaviour. This behaviour can be interpreted subjectively by the court, with a flexible attitude, and may include a substantial breakdown in trust, lack of marital affection, or even mundane activities such as a spouse wanting to prepare healthy meals. Arguing about map-reading, for example, has been deemed sufficient to justify divorce. It is important to consult a specialist divorce lawyer to determine whether unreasonable behaviour can be established, as it requires proof that the spouse has behaved in a way that means the other cannot reasonably be expected to live with them.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Violence | Threatening physical violence, physically abusive |
| Alcoholism | Drinking to excess, behaving aggressively when drunk |
| Lack of respect | Insulting, criticising without reason |
| Financial irresponsibility | Failing to maintain the family properly |
| Lack of marital affection | Lack of physical intimacy |
| Marital sex | Too little or too much |
| Lifestyle choices | Monitoring whereabouts, preventing socialising |
| Verbal abuse | Raising their voice in arguments |
| Constant criticism | Demanding more time and attention |
| Lack of care | Getting mad at little things |
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What You'll Learn
Violence and abuse
In the context of violence and abuse, unreasonable behaviour can encompass a range of actions by one spouse that significantly impact the other spouse's life. This includes physical violence or the threat of physical violence, which can leave the victimised spouse in constant fear for their safety. Alcohol abuse can also be a factor, where excessive drinking leads to aggressive and unreasonable behaviour. Such behaviour can create an unsafe and hostile environment, making it difficult for the other spouse to continue living with them.
Additionally, verbal abuse, constant criticism, and insults can also constitute unreasonable behaviour. This can involve belittling comments, such as calling the other spouse "useless" or "good for nothing". Financial abuse, where one spouse fails to provide financial support for their partner or children, can also be considered unreasonable behaviour.
To prove unreasonable behaviour, specific examples and evidence are often required. This can include bank statements showing financial neglect, police reports or medical documents indicating abuse, and witness statements from neighbours or others who may have observed the abusive behaviour.
While unreasonable behaviour is a valid ground for divorce, it is important to consult a specialist divorce lawyer to navigate the complexities of divorce and ensure the best outcome for all involved. Divorce is a stressful process, and seeking legal advice can help clarify the specific circumstances and options available.
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Alcoholism and aggression
In terms of legal definitions, unreasonable behaviour as grounds for divorce varies by jurisdiction. For example, in Scotland, a couple may file for divorce based on unreasonable behaviour if one spouse's behaviour is such that the other spouse cannot reasonably be expected to live with them anymore. Similarly, in Singapore, the test for determining unreasonable behaviour considers whether the plaintiff can reasonably be expected to live with the defendant, taking into account the plaintiff's subjective qualities.
In addition to verbal and physical aggression, alcoholism can lead to other forms of unreasonable behaviour that may contribute to marital breakdown. This can include financial irresponsibility, constant criticism, insults, and a lack of respect for the spouse. If left unresolved, unreasonable behaviour can cause a marriage to deteriorate to the point where divorce becomes inevitable.
It is important to note that the impact of alcoholism and aggression on a marriage is subjective and unique to each couple. Consulting a specialist divorce lawyer is essential to understand the specific grounds for divorce and the legal process.
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Lack of respect
Disrespect in a relationship can manifest in various ways, such as neglecting or dismissing your partner's needs and desires, failing to acknowledge their accomplishments, or routinely ignoring their opinions, interests, or concerns. This dismissive behaviour can lead to feelings of insignificance and resentment in the neglected partner. It can also cause a breakdown in communication, with one partner feeling unheard and invalidated.
In some cases, a lack of respect may be linked to controlling behaviour, where one partner monitors the other's every move, dictates their choices, or manipulates situations to suit their agenda. This type of behaviour undermines the other person's autonomy and agency and creates an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship.
When facing unreasonable behaviour in a marriage, it is essential to identify the specific cause and consider seeking help from a lawyer or other professional. Divorce should be considered when there is a substantial breakdown in trust between the couple, and the behaviour of one spouse is such that the other can no longer reasonably be expected to live with them.
While it may be challenging to regain respect once it is lost, it is not impossible. Couples can try counselling to address underlying issues and work on improving their level of respect for each other. Open and honest communication is crucial in rebuilding respect and strengthening the foundation of the relationship.
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Financial irresponsibility
In some cases, financial irresponsibility may be linked to a spouse's lifestyle choices and decisions. For instance, a spouse may exhibit irresponsible behaviour by prioritising personal interests or indulgences over the financial well-being of the family. This could include excessive gambling, impulsive purchases, or reckless investments that jeopardise the family's financial stability.
Additionally, financial insecurity, regardless of its cause, can be a significant source of stress for both spouses. Constant financial worries can take a toll on the marriage, impacting every aspect of the relationship. This stress may lead to a breakdown in communication, causing further strain and potentially irreparable damage to the union.
When financial irresponsibility reaches a point where it significantly impacts the marriage, it may constitute unreasonable behaviour as grounds for divorce. This determination is typically made when a spouse's behaviour is deemed so unreasonable that the other spouse can no longer be expected to continue living with them. However, it is important to consult a specialist divorce lawyer, as the interpretation of unreasonable behaviour can vary and may be subject to judicial discretion in certain jurisdictions.
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Coercive control
In the context of divorce, coercive control falls under unreasonable behaviour, which is one of the grounds for divorce in some legal systems. To establish coercive control as a ground for divorce, it must be shown that the perpetrator intended to cause psychological harm or displayed recklessness in their behaviour. This can include incidents such as limiting a spouse's access to financial resources or discouraging contact with friends and loved ones.
If your spouse does not contest a divorce claim that includes coercive control, they are effectively admitting to a criminal act, as coercive behaviour is a criminal offence under the Serious Crimes Act 2015. This can result in arrest and potential jail time. On the other hand, if they have already been arrested or convicted of coercive behaviour or abuse, this can be used as evidence in your divorce petition.
It is important to note that divorces involving coercive control rarely end amicably or quickly. Instead, the divorce process may become an extension of the abusing spouse's efforts to control the victim-spouse. Therefore, it is crucial to seek skilled legal counsel to navigate these complex dynamics and ensure your safety during the divorce process.
If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control or any form of domestic abuse, there are resources available for support. In Scotland, for example, you can contact Police Scotland by calling 999 in an emergency or 101 to report a non-emergency situation.
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Frequently asked questions
Unreasonable behaviour is a subjective term used to describe a spouse's behaviour that causes a substantial breakdown in trust between the couple. It is one of the five grounds for divorce.
Examples of unreasonable behaviour include lack of marital affection, too little or too much marital sex, physical or verbal abuse, financial irresponsibility, constant criticism, controlling behaviour, and more.
You must detail in your divorce petition the particulars of why you claim your spouse's behaviour is unreasonable. Evidence such as bank statements, police charge sheets, and witness statements can be used to support your petition.
If the court determines that unreasonable behaviour constitutes grounds for divorce, it will award the divorce and consider other problems, including child custody, alimony, and property distribution. The court may also order the spouse whose behaviour was unreasonable to compensate the other spouse.
