
Crusader Kings 3 is a historical grand strategy and RPG game series developed by Paradox Development Studio. It offers a robust, flexible diplomacy system that players can use to micromanage the lives of their characters and their families. The Diplomacy Lifestyle has three focuses that can be changed every five years, granting unique bonuses. Players can also accrue enough Diplomacy Lifestyle points to select perks from any of the three Diplomacy Perk trees, unlocking permanent buffs for their characters. While some players may prefer a more aggressive approach to the game, others can benefit from the Diplomacy Lifestyle by gaining land without war, consolidating rule and gaining respect, and boosting certain numbers.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Game Name | Crusader Kings 3 |
| Game Developer | Paradox Development Studio |
| Platforms | PC, Mac, Linux, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S |
| Genre | Historical grand strategy/RPG |
| Play Style | Micromanagement, role-playing, strategic land-taking, peaceful expansion |
| Diplomacy Benefits | Realm stability, increased opinion, increased stats, expansion |
| Diplomacy Perks | Embassies, Writing History, Inspiring Rule, True Ruler, Defensive Negotiations, Groomed to Rule, Befriend |
| Diplomacy Strategies | Send gifts, manipulate religion, create alliances, marry into kingdoms, breed good fighters |
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What You'll Learn

Using diplomacy to stabilise your realm
Diplomacy in Crusader Kings 3 is a powerful tool for players who want to stabilise their realm without resorting to war or intrigue. By investing in the Diplomacy Lifestyle, players can gain access to unique bonuses and perks that can help them manage their realm more effectively. Here are some ways in which diplomacy can be used to stabilise your realm in Crusader Kings 3:
Befriend Your Vassals
Vassals can be a significant source of instability in your realm, with their constant factionalism and power struggles. One way to stabilise your realm is to befriend your vassals and turn them into allies. The "Befriend" scheme and the "Defensive Negotiations" perk can help you achieve this by increasing your opinion of each other and making them less likely to take hostile actions against you. With the "Groomed to Rule" perk, you can also invest in your children's education, making them more valuable as council members or knights, which can further strengthen your position.
Peaceful Vassalization
Another way to stabilise your realm is to peacefully vassalize lower-rank independent rulers. The "True Ruler" perk provides a +20 acceptance bonus, making it easier to bring smaller rulers under your fold without resorting to war. This can create a domino effect, with more rulers seeking safety in your realm, thus expanding your influence and stabilising your rule.
Alliances and Embassies
Alliances can be a powerful tool for realm stability, especially with the "Embassies" perk, which provides a +1 Diplomacy bonus per alliance. This can help you maintain positive relations with your allies and ensure they don't turn against you. With the "Royal Court DLC," the "Embassies" perk also boosts your "Learn Language" schemes, making it easier to communicate and negotiate with your allies.
Family Management
Family management is crucial in Crusader Kings 3, as scheming relatives can destabilise your realm. The "Thoughtful" perk modifies the "Send Gift" option, making it twice as effective in changing a character's opinion. This can be a powerful tool to win over family members who may have grievances or ambitions of their own.
Prestige and Fame
Prestige and fame can also contribute to realm stability. The "Inspiring Rule" perk provides a tonne of monthly Prestige, which can increase your level of fame. Fame, in turn, brings its own perks, such as increased opinion, tax, and levy modifiers. The "A Life of Glory" perk further capitalises on fame, providing massive opinion modifiers among vassals and increased tax revenue.
In conclusion, while Crusader Kings 3 offers various ways to play, from intrigue to warfare, diplomacy remains an essential tool for players seeking to stabilise their realm, consolidate their power, and expand their influence through peaceful means.
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Making friends and family happy
Making friends and keeping your family happy is an important part of Crusader Kings 3. While the game does feature warfare and intrigue, it is also possible to play the game in a more peaceful and pleasant manner, using diplomacy to forge strong relationships and expand your realm.
One way to make friends and keep your family happy is to utilize the Befriend scheme. This scheme allows you to make everyone your friend, increasing your stats and gaining you more income and levies. You can also use gifts to increase your relationships with others, especially with the Thoughtful perk, which doubles the opinion gain from gifts.
The Diplomacy Lifestyle is a powerful set of perk trees that grant access to numerous options for developing your lands and stories. It is particularly useful for consolidating rule and gaining respect, and it offers unique bonuses that can be changed every five years. Within the Diplomacy Lifestyle, the Defensive Negotiations perk is valuable, as it provides increased opinion from vassals and independent rulers, allowing you to avoid conflicts and increase your rank. The Groomed to Rule perk is also useful, as it grants extra skill points to children based on their childhood traits, making them more valuable as council members or knights.
If you have a surplus of cash, investing in the Diplomacy perk tree can be advantageous. The Embassies perk, for example, provides a +1 Diplomacy boost per alliance, strengthening your character's political relations. The Inspiring Rule perk is another excellent choice, granting a tonne of monthly Prestige, which can be used to increase your level of fame and influence.
In addition to these perks, it's important to remember that family is crucial in Crusader Kings 3. You must navigate not only international diplomacy but also the dynamics within your own family. Keeping your family happy can involve managing scheming cousins and sulky uncles, as well as keeping track of numerous offspring. The Friendly Counsel perk from the Family Hierarch tree boosts the power of friendship, granting your character 2 random skill points for each friend, up to a maximum of 5.
By utilizing these strategies and perks, you can make friends and keep your family happy in Crusader Kings 3, creating a stable and prosperous realm.
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Gaining land without war
While it is possible to gain land in CK3 without war, it is not a focus of the game and you will lose if this is your only strategy for gaining land. Inheritance can be a way to gain land without war, but it requires careful preparation. For instance, you can marry your heirs to the daughters of other leaders and then kill their sons. Alternatively, you can manipulate religion to gain influence and power. Once you are strong enough to fight any internal war, you can occupy some lands and give them to your family. With their support, you can force a conversion, and if anyone opposes, you can imprison them and take away their land.
Another way to gain land without war is through diplomacy. The Diplomacy Lifestyle perk tree offers a variety of options for developing lands and stories. The perk Embassies makes alliances more valuable by providing a +1 Diplomacy boost per alliance. The Writing History perk unlocks the ‘Commission Epic’ decision, which allows a character to trade money for an epic to be written, resulting in various boosts such as +5 Monthly Prestige. The first perk on the diplomacy lifestyle tree also gives you double the opinion gain from gifts, which can be useful for keeping your vassals happy and preventing uprisings.
Family is extremely important in CK3, and you must navigate both international diplomacy and the dynamics within your own family. Close family members receive an opinion bonus, which can help prevent a fatal stab in the back. Sending gifts is another way to influence others and prevent vassal factions. Good-willed bribery can be a powerful action, and the Thoughtful perk modifies the Send Gift option, making it twice as powerful for changing a character’s opinion.
Money can also be a route to quicker schemes, better outcomes for diplomatic actions, and peace within the realm. The perk A Life of Glory capitalizes on a character’s fame, providing a significant opinion modifier boost among vassals and increased tax from tribal vassals.
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Increasing prestige and fame
One way to increase prestige is by accumulating wealth and investing in Men-At-Arms, especially for Tribal rulers. Players can also increase their prestige by winning duels, which boosts their renown and increases their prestige. Additionally, creating new titles early in the game can significantly increase prestige, with loftier titles granting more prestige than lower ones. However, it is important to grant some titles to vassals to avoid penalties and resentment.
Another way to increase prestige is by marrying people of higher rank or those with close relatives of higher rank. Marriage alliances can be beneficial, and in polygamous societies, players can take multiple wives with better standing, directly increasing their prestige. Players can also increase their prestige by hosting events such as hunts and feasts, participating in wars, and becoming friends with foreign rulers.
Furthermore, players can increase their prestige by displaying artifacts and relics in their Royal Court, which serves as a status symbol. Sponsoring expeditions to acquire these artifacts can be a worthwhile investment. Additionally, choosing the diplomacy lifestyle with the majesty focus and increasing the size of the territory under their control can boost monthly prestige accumulation.
As players increase their prestige, their fame level also rises. Fame accrues alongside prestige and provides perks such as increased opinion, tax, and levy modifiers. The perk "A Life of Glory" in the Diplomacy perk tree capitalizes on a character's fame, enhancing the impact of their current fame level.
In summary, players can increase their prestige and fame in Crusader Kings 3 by accumulating wealth, winning duels, creating new titles, forming strategic marriages, hosting events, participating in wars, displaying artifacts, choosing the right lifestyle and focus, and increasing their territory. By implementing these strategies, players can elevate their dynasty and unlock new opportunities in the game.
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Avoiding vassal uprisings
As a ruler in Crusader Kings 3, you will have to deal with vassals, who are characters granted lower-ranked titles by a liege to help manage the realm in exchange for a cut of their taxes and levies. While vassals can help you expand your kingdom, they can also be a source of unrest and uprisings if not properly managed. Here are some strategies to avoid vassal uprisings and keep your kingdom stable:
Keep Your Vassals Weak:
It is important to prevent any single vassal from becoming too powerful, as they may start a revolt or challenge your authority. To do this, avoid giving too many titles to a single vassal, especially if they are of a different culture or religion, as this can lead to “foreigner” penalties and an increased risk of rebellion. Instead, distribute titles carefully to characters who share your religion and culture, preferably those who are not already rulers or heirs.
Maintain a Strong Power Base:
Focus on strengthening your own position by holding onto every county in two duchies that are close together. This way, you can maximize your demesne limit without incurring penalties and avoid vassals plotting for your duchies, keeping your powerbase secure.
Keep Your Vassals Happy:
Vassal happiness is crucial to preventing uprisings. Ensure that your vassals share your culture and religion to avoid "foreigner" penalties and reduce the risk of rebellion. Groom your heir yourself and keep them close to avoid potential power struggles. Send gifts to vassals, especially those with high opinions of you, as this can help remove them from factions.
Manage Powerful Vassals:
Keep an eye on your powerful vassals, who are designated by their high tax income and number of levies. These vassals expect to be part of your council, and not including them can lead to negative opinions. To change the succession law of your realm, all powerful vassals must either have a positive opinion of you, be terrified of you, or be imprisoned.
Use Diplomacy and Alliances:
The Diplomacy Lifestyle tree in CK3 offers perks that can help prevent vassal uprisings. The "Embassies" perk enhances the value of alliances and provides a +1 Diplomacy boost per alliance. The "Writing History" perk allows you to commission an epic, trading money for a potential +5 Monthly Prestige boost.
Deal with Unruly Vassals:
If a vassal becomes too powerful or rebellious, you have several options. You can induce rebellion and then strip them of a title, get strong hooks on them, befriend them, replace them with someone who likes you, or imprison or kill them.
By following these strategies, you can maintain control over your vassals and prevent uprisings, ensuring the stability of your kingdom in Crusader Kings 3.
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Frequently asked questions
Send gifts to the members of the faction with the highest opinion of you. You can also get strong hooks on them, befriend them, replace them with someone who likes you, or kill them until you have a 3-year-old vassal.
Peacefully vassalize lower-rank independent rulers. You can offer vassalization to those with the same religion and culture as you.
Defensive Negotiations, Inspiring Rule, True Ruler, and Embassies are all good diplomacy perks.


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