Omar Bennett
Diplomacy is a game that involves forming secret alliances, dividing proposed territorial gains, and playing powers off against each other. It is famous for ending friendships as it requires players to be comfortable with manipulating one another. Friendship treaties have been used for agreements about the use and development of resources, territorial integrity, access to harbours, trading lanes, and fisheries, and promises of cooperation. On the other hand, romantic relationships are often more infatuated with the idea of a person and not their actual self. Friendship has fewer expectations and customs and is often prioritized over romance. Friendship isn't as entrenched in random customs and expectations. Thus, diplomacy is closer to friendship than romance.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Time Commitment | More time spent with romantic partners than friends |
| Emotional Intimacy | More emotional intimacy with friends than romantic partners |
| Social Norms | Society dictates that romantic relationships are prioritized over friendships |
| Expectations | High expectations in romantic relationships compared to friendships |
| Customary Practices | Friendship is not entrenched in random customs and expectations |
| Communication | More frequent and deeper communication with friends than romantic partners |
| Socialization | People tend to socialize more with romantic partners, especially introverts |
| Relationship Dynamics | Friendship allows for a complementary dynamic focused on individual needs and desires |
| Relationship Duration | Friendships tend to last longer than romantic relationships |
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What You'll Learn
Friendship is based on a deeper understanding and connection
Friendships are built on a foundation of shared interests, values, and experiences. Friends often have a deeper understanding of each other's personalities, moods, and even physical changes. This level of connection and intimacy can be more meaningful and long-lasting than the infatuation that may characterise the early stages of a romantic relationship.
Friends also tend to accept each other for who they are without the same pressure to conform to societal expectations or to change their partner. They can provide a sense of stability and security, as they are less likely to be affected by external factors such as cultural norms or the opinions of others. Friendships are often more flexible and adaptable, allowing for the ebb and flow of life changes and providing a safe space for personal growth and exploration.
In addition, friendships can offer a level of equality and mutual respect that may be lacking in romantic relationships, which are often characterised by power dynamics and gender norms. Friends can support and uplift each other without the same concerns about competition or dominance that may arise in romantic partnerships.
Furthermore, friendships can provide a sense of longevity and stability that may be lacking in romantic relationships, which are often subject to the ups and downs of passion and infatuation. Friends can be each other's "ride or die," providing a sense of consistency and reliability that is not always present in romantic partnerships, which may be more volatile or prone to external influences.
While romantic relationships are often prioritised in society, many individuals find deeper connections and more enduring relationships in their platonic friendships. These relationships can be just as meaningful, fulfilling, and worthy of celebration as any romantic endeavour.
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Friendship is not entrenched in societal customs and expectations
Friends are also not bound by the expectation that their relationship should be monogamous. While a person might have only one romantic partner, they can have multiple close friends, and these friends can be just as important as a romantic partner. Friends can also be confident that their relationship is not based on infatuation or a societal construct of what a relationship should be, but rather on a deep understanding of each other's moods and personalities. This understanding can lead to a very close connection, one that is often maintained for life.
In contrast, romantic relationships are often expected to be monogamous and are more likely to end in breakups or divorce. They are also more likely to be influenced by societal expectations and norms, which can make them feel less authentic or genuine. For example, an aromantic person may not understand what makes a romantic relationship different from a friendship, as they are unable to wrap their head around the concept of romance. They may feel that romance makes a relationship more distant and that people are often more infatuated with the idea of a person than with the person themselves.
Furthermore, while it is generally accepted that a person's romantic partner or spouse should be their "number one", this is not always the case. Some people prioritise their friendships over their romantic relationships, and this can be a healthy choice. Friends can provide support, understanding, and companionship, and it is important to recognise that platonic relationships can be just as meaningful and important as romantic ones.
Overall, the lack of societal customs and expectations surrounding friendship allows for greater flexibility and individuality in these relationships. Friends are free to define their own terms, create their own rituals, and prioritise their friendships in a way that works for them, without the constraints often imposed on romantic relationships.
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Friendship does not have to be monogamous
Friendships can be just as deep and meaningful as romantic relationships, and sometimes even more so. Friends can develop a profound understanding of each other's moods and physical changes, and can often understand each other better than romantic partners. In fact, some people choose to prioritise their friendships over romantic relationships, and create a framework for their friendships that doesn't fit contemporary labels of romantic or platonic. They may use terms like "platonic life partner", "ride or die", or "queerplatonic partner" to describe their relationships.
Friendships can also be more enduring than romantic relationships. While more than half of romantic couples break up or divorce, platonic friendships often last until death. This may be because friendships are not as entrenched in random customs and expectations as romantic relationships, and are therefore more flexible and adaptable. Additionally, in today's world, fewer people are dating and getting married, and many are happier being single than being in a romantic relationship.
Furthermore, while romantic relationships are often expected to be monogamous, humans are biologically polygamous. This means that people can have multiple close friendships that fulfill their emotional and social needs, without the need for a romantic relationship. Ultimately, the number and nature of an individual's relationships should be determined by their own needs and desires, rather than societal expectations.
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Friendship treaties are not always based on equal partnership
Friendship treaties, also known as treaties of friendship, commerce, and navigation, are agreements between countries that establish close ties and cooperation. While these treaties signify friendship and collaboration, they are not always based on equal partnerships. This imbalance is particularly evident in treaties between aboriginal nations and colonizers during the Colonial era. The Romans, for instance, often established peace and friendship treaties with neighbouring polities, but these agreements were built on unequal terms, requiring the neighbour to provide military support to Rome without a reciprocal obligation.
The use of friendship terminology in treaties does not always indicate equal footing among the signatories. The ancient Greeks distinguished between different types of friendships or alliances, such as "philiai," "symmachia," and "epimachia." While "philiai" denoted friendship between polities, it did not grant the partners the status of allies. In contrast, "symmachia" and "epimachia" were forms of alliances, with varying commitments to mutual aid and military support.
Similarly, in the context of colonial expansion, friendship treaties were often manipulated by larger powers to create an environment of trust that primarily served their interests. These treaties were often written in the language of the colonizer and presented as agreements of friendship, while in reality, they were imbalanced and favoured the colonizing power. This dynamic is evident in the numerous "Treaties of Friendship, Commerce, and Navigation" signed by the United States since its independence, which have dealt with commercial matters, protection of persons and their interests, and the definition of reciprocal rights and respect.
While friendship treaties aim to foster cooperation and amicable relations, the power dynamics between the signatory countries can influence the balance of benefits and obligations outlined in the treaty. The use of friendship terminology in treaties may not always reflect an equal partnership, and it is important to scrutinize the specific terms and conditions outlined in these agreements to understand the nature of the relationship between the countries involved.
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Friendship can last longer than romance
Secondly, friendships are often built on a deep-rooted connection and understanding, which can be more durable than the infatuation or attraction that may characterise the early stages of romantic relationships. Friendships also tend to be more reciprocal, with friends treating each other with consideration and providing a support system that can enhance overall well-being.
Additionally, friendships are generally free from the societal norms, customs, and expectations that can complicate romantic relationships. Friends can be more accepting of each other's true selves, rather than being infatuated with the idea of who the other person is. This authenticity in friendship can lead to a deeper and more lasting connection.
Furthermore, having a best friend or a close group of friends can provide a sense of companionship and life satisfaction that is comparable to, or even surpasses, the fulfilment gained from a romantic relationship. This is especially true for individuals who may not prioritise romance in their lives or who find it challenging to find a romantic partner.
Lastly, friendships can be more resilient to changes in life circumstances. For example, friends may drift apart due to geographical distances or life stage differences, but they can often reconnect and pick up where they left off without the same level of complexity that romantic relationships may entail.
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Frequently asked questions
Diplomacy is the art of establishing close ties between countries, often through treaties of friendship. These treaties can involve agreements on territorial integrity, resource use, and military alliances. While they may not always be based on equal partnerships, they are built on mutual respect and cooperation. Similarly, friendships are based on mutual respect, trust, and support, which are not always present in romantic relationships.
Friendships are often based on a deep understanding of each other's moods, physical changes, and life events. They can be more stable and long-lasting than romantic relationships, which may be more prone to breakups and divorce. Friendships also allow for more freedom and flexibility in terms of expression and expectations, without the constraints of societal norms and conventions associated with romance.
Yes, it is possible to feel closer to a friend than a romantic partner. Some people prioritize their friendships over their romantic relationships and view their friends as their support system and "ride or die." The level of closeness in any relationship depends on factors such as frequency of communication, shared experiences, and the depth of understanding between individuals.
Societal expectations often dictate that romantic relationships take precedence over friendships. The notion of a "monogamous romantic relationship" is still prevalent, and society often expects individuals to prioritize their romantic partners above all else. However, this expectation is slowly shifting, and more people are prioritizing their friendships and creating non-romantic life partnerships.
